a whole new world...

will be directing aladdin this year for a local school... so it is mandatory that i flood myself with 'a whole new world'... yes, i'm hoping that 2009 and the year of the ox will be a whole new world...

new in what ways?

i am still trying to figure out. maybe i'll just be the money-making machine that i have always been. well, it would be nice to go on the journey with someone by my side but like someone once said, 'wow! you have so many friends to take care of you.'

well, i guess someone's right... when all else fails, my circle of friends are there to cushion my fall. so do i need someone?

shame on you bush whackers...

never been someone to thrash people so openly... but just wanted to share something i heard over bbc yesterday...

bush moved the war on terror from america to enemy soil hence the war on iraq. he was the man behind the capture of saddam. today, people condemn him and celebrate a new era BUT one day, people will forget the money wasted, the lives sacrificed. however, they will remember bush as the one man who brought down the saddam regime and fought terrorism head-on.

now, I DARE YOU BUSH WHACKERS TO DO THE SAME...

the man is no longer president. cut him some slack...

idea hor?

good idea: cut down on clubbing expenses by going super early for free club entry, not drinking, driving (save on cab).

bad idea: having two hours between show and running off to buy a $350 toy

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good idea: come home early on a sunday night to spend some time chatting with the father and catching up on sleep

bad idea: staying out every day till three in the morning since wed... so my dad has not seen me for about 100 hours...

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good idea: maintain a neutral stand about everything

bad idea: hand your phone over to your friends so that they can mess around with your sms-es

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good idea: drive to work

bad idea: parking at work... my parking was a whopping 17 bucks! my heart skipped a beat

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good idea: organise a dinner for three

really good idea: pretend to be on msn or in your own world

extremely good idea: keep eating so that you don't become a lamp-post

tough questions

in life, no one has all the answers. some questions just cannot have an answer. i present to you some tough questions. how would you answer them?

1) how's your day?
2) are we drifting apart?
3) so where do we go from here?
4) why do you love me so much?
5) are you afraid of losing me?
6) can i say no?

this time...

this time last year...

i was wrapping up my superstar virgo project... after being onboard for six weeks, i was finally going home... but what was home? the six weeks had a death, two breakups and a lot of family drama...

this time this year...

wrapped up precious moments at suntec... a lot less family drama... a bunch of new friends... a handful of fragile relationships...

this time last year...

been to KL, phuket, langkawi, penang... slept passed malacca countless times...

this time this year...

i'm in singapore... friends are in KL, vietnam, taiwan, around the world...

this time last year...

made a tough decision to shelf my plans for an overseas masters... i was in preparation for four years... stopped writing my paper because i knew i was not going anywhere near the states, hong kong or australia...

this time this year...

still thinking of furthering my studies... but it now looks like a distant dream...

this time last year...

single

this time this year...

single

this time next year...

i will be strong, i will be one step closer to myself and i will be embracing my life...

survivor... outwit, outplay, outlast

i have been a huge fan of the recent season of survivor... the backstabs, the blindside, the lies... makes good tv! even the most 'honest' of them all was not all that honest...

will i be more than a survivor? can i outwit, outplay or outlast... perhaps i'm just at a point that i'm feeling pretty vulnerable... things don't seem to be going to well, some are even spinning out of control... i'm not enjoying life as much as i did... i know life is good but is life happy?

not quite... perhaps madonna's right... that we are living in a material world and i'm (or, rather we are all...) material girls...

either we want materials like leather, silk, diamonds, platinum... or we are made up of materials like plastic, metal, water... cold, hard and without direction...

thoughts... in general...

since i still have fifty minutes during my witching hour, i might as well make use of the time and write something...

if you love something, let it go. if it returns, it's yours.

too many times, we have held on too tightly. perhaps in holding on, we have unknowingly suffocated that which we held. yet holding on tightly gives one security, that through it all, i will hold on firmly and not let go...

looking back, me holding on has never been all nice. admittedly there have been times when i let go, times when i refused to budge and gripped, times when i just had to feel something in the palm of my hand. selfish, self-centred... perhaps...

so it's a challenge to hold on to something dear to you, to keep it close to you, safe in your arms.

however it is a feat to let it go, let go because if it is yours to begin with. it will return. letting go takes confidence and self-assurance that all things will be fine.

as the end of the year draws near, i will not come up with new resolutions or new targets for myself... instead, i shall make promises with me... promises that i will attempt to keep... and they shall surface over the new couple of weeks on The Online @-dition... haha...

here's the first:

i promise that i shall hold on to the people in my life. jesus, my father, my friends, my teammates, my bosses, my fellow workers, my students. to them, i give my time and my limited wisdom.

before i slip into oblivion...

here are just some stuff to happened over the last couple of weeks...

1) went and returned from the batam work trip... my thoughts, great people i worked with (these will be OUR performers), bad overseas talents, bad management, bad food, bad lodging (no water pressure in shower and lousy air-con)... i really didn't enjoy the trip though it was just an overnight stay...

2) had my pay cut by a few hundred bucks... it's super annoying la... i'm easygoing when it comes to work but when people start to be picky and all, then you are just taking my kindness as weakness... no more mr nice guy!

3) rehearsed and started the precious moments show at suntec city... this is one of the fastest and least hassle shows that i have been involved in... maybe just cos maybe... *evil thought*

4) getting a year-end bonus from rainbow... not sure of the amount but every little bit counts!

5) discovered that a certain member of the family has been siphoning money off the father's bank account... for goodness' sake, he's your own father!

6) clubbing, partying, drinking... need i say more?

to do or not to do...

just wondering if i should take the following actions (for pure recreation):

1) wake up bright and early tomorrow morning at 7am then head to ikea for their preview thingy. they are giving free breakfast... so i'm wondering if i should go for free breakfast? just to soak up the typical singaporean-ness atmosphere...

2) write in to zara and complain about saleschild who dissed me because i was in baggy t-shirt, berms and flip-flops... the last time i complained about someone, the fellow was fired... actually i would like to get that asshole fired for tarnishing the image of zara... oh, and it'll be fun to get someone sacked too!

3) prepare nice outfit for batam's event... apparently i am invited for the dinner... but i would really rather just hang out backstage or laze in my room... don't really fancy sitting through a five hour dinner although the programme looks way cool...

4) make life that much more difficult for people who work with me... haha... i have been known to be a perfectionist with ULTRA high standards...

5) say yes to event on christmas day... considering it is a late noon / early evening gig, i should be fine and well from the partying on christmas eve...

6) religiously watch 'little nyonya'... it's good stuff... and coming from me, IT IS GOOD...

this time round... all comments will be appreciated and maybe, deleted... (*winks*)

what a week...

i can't believe that another week has just passed... anyway, it was not too bad a week... here are seven reasons why it was a lovely week...

1) managed to see my bedok view students on their last day of school... and went shopping with the teachers-in-charge to buy stuff for next year... so shiok, shopping for work... haha!

2) production is taking a better shape... things seem a bit clearer...

3) new pair of shoes!

4) been on youtube watching project runway season 5... wow! super shiok... shiok because i actually have time to laze at home and watch youtube... haha!

5) PARTIES... birthdays, clubbing and more clubbing... a bit tired but it's great to be out with friends and catching up on gossip...

6) good news! a couple of friends are pregnant and one's getting married... so happy for all of them and their families...

7) love is in the air... not mine but it is lurking around somewhere... congrats to the newly hitched!

i have a dream... of life's simple pleasures...

recently, i have adopted a 'don't drive unless needed' policy... this then translates into leaving the car at home and taking public transport to town for work or leisure...

anyway, riding on the bus and train frees up my travel time to pick up reading... so a couple of days back, i managed to read the famous 'i have a dream' speech while heading off to rehearsals... there was definitely a few moments that i felt blessed and inspired... blessed because i am born into a privileged position and inspired due to the fact that words can have so much power on people...

so today, i left my car at home after rehearsals and took a train to raffles place for my meeting... lo and behold, meeting time was pushed back an hour so i had time to burn. so gallant me walked all the way to funan and found a nice little cafe... order a salad and a drink... then munched away... of course i was flipping through magazines whilst enjoying my little teatime...

but such is the true pleasure of life... it does not have to be a new jacket, new shoes, a huge paycheque, praises or garlands... just simple silence with the self... to have no one disturb you and give you personal space to be alone... it's something that i have not done for a long time and i'm glad i did it today...

perhaps i should reinstate my movie mondays when i buy myself a ticket to any movie on a monday and just watch it on my own... just to be with me...