in love again...

yes... yes... yes... i'm in love!!! i'm in love with everyman!!! haha... it's not a typing error... everyman is written by philip roth... i'm about twenty pages in and i love the mind games that roth plays...

construction, brillant... language, simple yet powerful... here's a quote that i really love... 'There's no remaking reality. Just take it as it comes. Hold your ground and take it as it comes'... my gosh, based on this one line, i can write a whole freaking thesis! ideas of form, content, intertextuality, writing as a construct, all the lit theories, reader-writer relationship... i'm hyperventilating at the depth of that one statement la...

correction! I'M HAVING LITERARY ORGASM! haha!

harkens back to the undergraduate days where i worship the ground that philip roth walks on... he writes with such elegance and beauty... yes writing is an art and roth is a master at that! of course there was sidney, milton, shakespeare, jonson, mary shelley...

anyway, i am going to attempt to pick up reading again...

promise to self: an hour of reading a day keeps stupidity away. oh! throw in an hour of the history channel too... it's good tv! haha...

singlehood versus single-ness

staying single is a highly interesting state... it can be a state of mind or state of being... you can hold another' hand and feel miles apart or you can be living in different time zones yet sense the other party's presence...

promise to self no. 2: stay single in mind, in thought and unfortunately, in being as well... don't ask why cos it's too tiring for me to pen down all my thoughts at this moment...

thoughts... in general...

since i still have fifty minutes during my witching hour, i might as well make use of the time and write something...

if you love something, let it go. if it returns, it's yours.

too many times, we have held on too tightly. perhaps in holding on, we have unknowingly suffocated that which we held. yet holding on tightly gives one security, that through it all, i will hold on firmly and not let go...

looking back, me holding on has never been all nice. admittedly there have been times when i let go, times when i refused to budge and gripped, times when i just had to feel something in the palm of my hand. selfish, self-centred... perhaps...

so it's a challenge to hold on to something dear to you, to keep it close to you, safe in your arms.

however it is a feat to let it go, let go because if it is yours to begin with. it will return. letting go takes confidence and self-assurance that all things will be fine.

as the end of the year draws near, i will not come up with new resolutions or new targets for myself... instead, i shall make promises with me... promises that i will attempt to keep... and they shall surface over the new couple of weeks on The Online @-dition... haha...

here's the first:

i promise that i shall hold on to the people in my life. jesus, my father, my friends, my teammates, my bosses, my fellow workers, my students. to them, i give my time and my limited wisdom.