end for a new beginning... beginning for a new end...

the final day of the year is always an interesting one... after today, all that has happened in 2008 would become history... it would be last year's affairs... so is that an end or a beginning?

whichever it is... 2009 is looking interesting... here are some reasons why...

1) career (or the lack of it): took up another school for debating. so i have two schools for debates and one for drama... doing a simple calculation of teaching two hours a day, the figures come up to something pretty decent... so the rumours are true after all, one can survive working minimal hours... hehe

2) carpark: quite funny why i listed it but i've discovered a way to DOUBLE my parking points at vivocity... but yes, it still involves spending lots of money though... so i guess in the brand new year, i will be hanging out at vivo A LOT more...

3) calvin klein, chanel: enough said...

hmm... how the pattern emerged is beyond me... probably due to the sub-conscious working overtime...

4) clubbing: time to explore new clubs and find new kakis!

5) car: to buy or not to buy... haha

that's about it for now... don't want to start rambling!

christmas presence...

christmas presents this year came in the form of presence... catching up with people you don't see often, seeing more of people that you see all the time... here's a glimpse of this year's christmas presence...

eve... dinner at ming's

ming and wilson: lovely couple, lovely food, lovely home... ming, so happy for you... i still remember how back in college, we would be daydreaming together outside our container...

liow: well done buddy! and yes, good things are worth waiting for... i can't wait till 2010...

serene: if life has a constant, you would be it... you're the same yesterday, today and i'm sure tomorrow too... wait! does that make you God?

sharon: haiz... haha... we still love you... we really do!

eve... countdown at zouk

i don't remember counting down cos we were rushing to finish a full bottle by midnight... that worked out to an hour of intense drinking... so from eleven till midnight, the few of us had a bottle, a lambo and i helped finish a martini...

special mention to gerald for his driving! the windscreen wipers come up everytime he tries to signal... super hilarous when there are three highly intoxicated people in the car...

day... boon keng

my very first attempt at a christmas party... chic christmas party... chic as in chicken... invite was sent out to gather friends for chicken rice... it was a party, singapore-style... in a hawker centre where one can come in tee-shirts, berms and slippers... well, i had three guests! haha... so i didn't fail that badly...

was good to see bestian again... oh and aaron is damn tall la... for once, i felt like a hobbit...

day... clubbing

one word... bad...

i think because of the last night, we were all tired... and it didn't help that the pick up was super slow... to make things worse, at various points, snow and foam rained on you... result? soapy skin and sticky hair... lousy lousy lousy! especially when i was wearing a nice expensive scarf...

the silver lining? supper... the sambal seafood fried rice was good... guilin jelly was nice also!

time to get back to work...

this time...

this time last year...

i was wrapping up my superstar virgo project... after being onboard for six weeks, i was finally going home... but what was home? the six weeks had a death, two breakups and a lot of family drama...

this time this year...

wrapped up precious moments at suntec... a lot less family drama... a bunch of new friends... a handful of fragile relationships...

this time last year...

been to KL, phuket, langkawi, penang... slept passed malacca countless times...

this time this year...

i'm in singapore... friends are in KL, vietnam, taiwan, around the world...

this time last year...

made a tough decision to shelf my plans for an overseas masters... i was in preparation for four years... stopped writing my paper because i knew i was not going anywhere near the states, hong kong or australia...

this time this year...

still thinking of furthering my studies... but it now looks like a distant dream...

this time last year...

single

this time this year...

single

this time next year...

i will be strong, i will be one step closer to myself and i will be embracing my life...

@ditor's @-lib

situation 1 - sometime during dinner

friend: so what are your plans for the future?
me: try to take over the world
friend laughs and then in a serious tone...
friend: no seriously, what are your REAL PRACTICAL plans for the future?
me in a deadpan serious voice
me: try to take over HALF the world?

situation 2 - while typing message on yahoo group

before posting the message, you can select the language to post message in. i had half a mind to post the message in arabic or croatian... now won't that be fun... although my students will think that i am psycho... wait! they call me the ebil (evil) coach... so what's new?

situation 3 - msn with ex-housemate

hm: how are you?
me: i'm good... enjoy the down time from work and working out my calendar for 2009
hm: wow
me: nothing to wow about... in event-speak, it's unemployment in dec and begging for work in january to cover losses

i am such a funny fella!

in love again...

yes... yes... yes... i'm in love!!! i'm in love with everyman!!! haha... it's not a typing error... everyman is written by philip roth... i'm about twenty pages in and i love the mind games that roth plays...

construction, brillant... language, simple yet powerful... here's a quote that i really love... 'There's no remaking reality. Just take it as it comes. Hold your ground and take it as it comes'... my gosh, based on this one line, i can write a whole freaking thesis! ideas of form, content, intertextuality, writing as a construct, all the lit theories, reader-writer relationship... i'm hyperventilating at the depth of that one statement la...

correction! I'M HAVING LITERARY ORGASM! haha!

harkens back to the undergraduate days where i worship the ground that philip roth walks on... he writes with such elegance and beauty... yes writing is an art and roth is a master at that! of course there was sidney, milton, shakespeare, jonson, mary shelley...

anyway, i am going to attempt to pick up reading again...

promise to self: an hour of reading a day keeps stupidity away. oh! throw in an hour of the history channel too... it's good tv! haha...

the most important men in my life...

1) the father... he's forever so giving and generous. i wish that as i age, i become more like him... his insight towards life and his devotion to the three of us leaves me speechless... his sense of humour is also one-of-a-kind, he smiles at the face of adversity and spits at difficulty... he is my hero... truly!

2) the financial planner... granted that he earns money from me but i give him credit of the good work he does. he's fuss-free and knows exactly what i want out of my money... i bring home the bacon, he tells me how to cook it... sweet eh!

3) the brother... let's just say that i am not an ungrateful brat. i remember the days when i was literally a struggling artiste, waiting for a big break or any break for that matter... you would buy me dinner... a simple packet of rice that costs you two bucks... and you did it very often... not to mention how you always topped up the rice cos the owners of the stall used to say... extra rice no extra charge... so don't worry, whatever may happen, you've got me!

4) long shao... time really flies. we've been there for each other for the good, the bad and the ugly... we still have our disagreements but i guess our friendship has withstood the test of time... the world is our oyster... next stop, kayak one-star! haha...

sorry girls... you've gotta wait till i'm inspired before you get some space on the online @dition... haha

survivor... outwit, outplay, outlast

i have been a huge fan of the recent season of survivor... the backstabs, the blindside, the lies... makes good tv! even the most 'honest' of them all was not all that honest...

will i be more than a survivor? can i outwit, outplay or outlast... perhaps i'm just at a point that i'm feeling pretty vulnerable... things don't seem to be going to well, some are even spinning out of control... i'm not enjoying life as much as i did... i know life is good but is life happy?

not quite... perhaps madonna's right... that we are living in a material world and i'm (or, rather we are all...) material girls...

either we want materials like leather, silk, diamonds, platinum... or we are made up of materials like plastic, metal, water... cold, hard and without direction...

singlehood versus single-ness

staying single is a highly interesting state... it can be a state of mind or state of being... you can hold another' hand and feel miles apart or you can be living in different time zones yet sense the other party's presence...

promise to self no. 2: stay single in mind, in thought and unfortunately, in being as well... don't ask why cos it's too tiring for me to pen down all my thoughts at this moment...

thoughts... in general...

since i still have fifty minutes during my witching hour, i might as well make use of the time and write something...

if you love something, let it go. if it returns, it's yours.

too many times, we have held on too tightly. perhaps in holding on, we have unknowingly suffocated that which we held. yet holding on tightly gives one security, that through it all, i will hold on firmly and not let go...

looking back, me holding on has never been all nice. admittedly there have been times when i let go, times when i refused to budge and gripped, times when i just had to feel something in the palm of my hand. selfish, self-centred... perhaps...

so it's a challenge to hold on to something dear to you, to keep it close to you, safe in your arms.

however it is a feat to let it go, let go because if it is yours to begin with. it will return. letting go takes confidence and self-assurance that all things will be fine.

as the end of the year draws near, i will not come up with new resolutions or new targets for myself... instead, i shall make promises with me... promises that i will attempt to keep... and they shall surface over the new couple of weeks on The Online @-dition... haha...

here's the first:

i promise that i shall hold on to the people in my life. jesus, my father, my friends, my teammates, my bosses, my fellow workers, my students. to them, i give my time and my limited wisdom.

confessions...

1) i am lazy... dad came into room last night and said that i was a karang guni (rag and bone) man because of the amount of things i was hoarding. admittedly i was hoarding things but mainly i was just LAZY to pack my room...

2) i am dirty... oh, the countless nights that i have gone to bed without showering. to think that i used to advocate how important it is to keep the skin nice and fresh before bedtime. but usually it's because i am dog-tired.

3) i am wicked... dressing room jokes at the expense of my sister. i detest her but if she her some of the things i said, she would fume. latest joke... edwin: santa, santa, but i wanted a puppy for christmas! santa: i gave you a sister didn't i?

4) i am partying too much... wednesday, friday, saturday, sunday... add that to the number of late night dinners and hanging out sessions... in true singapore style, CAN DIE MAN!

5) i am arrogant... met an insurance agent yesterday. i think i dissed him a bit too much. a bit too much of an ego rush for me... but it was fun while it lasted... i think he will remember that hour for a long time to come *evil laugh*

okay... back to packing the room

Allswell Commercial - THE Sequel. Because I love you

Because I love you...

before i slip into oblivion...

here are just some stuff to happened over the last couple of weeks...

1) went and returned from the batam work trip... my thoughts, great people i worked with (these will be OUR performers), bad overseas talents, bad management, bad food, bad lodging (no water pressure in shower and lousy air-con)... i really didn't enjoy the trip though it was just an overnight stay...

2) had my pay cut by a few hundred bucks... it's super annoying la... i'm easygoing when it comes to work but when people start to be picky and all, then you are just taking my kindness as weakness... no more mr nice guy!

3) rehearsed and started the precious moments show at suntec city... this is one of the fastest and least hassle shows that i have been involved in... maybe just cos maybe... *evil thought*

4) getting a year-end bonus from rainbow... not sure of the amount but every little bit counts!

5) discovered that a certain member of the family has been siphoning money off the father's bank account... for goodness' sake, he's your own father!

6) clubbing, partying, drinking... need i say more?