The Online @-dition

wow oh wow

2012-01-03T01:55:00.002+08:00

it's been over a year... amazing how i managed to find this little blog of mine.

just dropping a few lines that i'm good and well...

career's good... sporting life's good... family life is still the same...

love life... shambles... i really don't know. something must be wrong with me. i cannot (for the life of me) hold down a relationship. maybe it's in the stars. or life is really fair... you cannot have it all... it really hurts.

monday blues

2010-10-04T21:58:00.003+08:00

hey little one,

mummy and me had a 7.30am show this morning... my car was down so i took mummy's car home last night and picked her up this morning...

monday morning being monday morning, we were both pretty zonked out... but anyway, mummy seems to be coping pretty well with you growing in her. she commented that the bump is rather visible (or maybe she is just bloated from all the eating!) good thing is that she is not going through all the morning sickness and puking and what not's... that's a good thing right? is that a sign of your good behaviour to come?

well, grow strong and healthy! uncle e can't wait to meet you soon...

i'm back

2010-09-30T00:01:00.002+08:00

hey,

tis' me... back to blogging... well, last couple of weeks have really taken a turn... interesting events that will change many lives... and that is a key to my return to the world of blogs... one day, i will look back and be glad that i pen down all these...

according to ms, it's week 7... well, she found out when it was about week 4/5... yup, it's the news of a new baby...

long story short... the father of the child has been giving her a terrible time but i am glad that everyone who knew ms rallied around her. and she finally decided on her birthday... 26th sep... that she was going to keep the baby...

in the last couple of days, she has grown so much stronger as a person. taking control over her life and doing what needs to be done in order to protect her, her baby and her family...

well, little one, uncle e will see you in about another eight months!

it's been a long long time...

2010-07-10T00:55:00.000+08:00

wow, it's been such a long time since i last wrote... but it's good to recap a few important choices that i have made...

1) sever ties with the family: i'm done with wiping people's asses and not be treated with any ounce of respect after that. coming home everyday is just coming home to a motel. i come back, i shower, watch a bit of tv, go into my room... no more conversations... i'm just not interested anymore... am already scouting for a new place... hope to move out by end of 2011...

2) dragonboat: dragonboaters have no life... actually we do, it's called dragonboat. water training on sat and sun, hitting the gym four times a week, twice for cardio, twice for weights... not bad... getting into the hang of it and the results show... won my first ever sporting medal... congrats to me!

3) work: it's been nothing less than amazing... it's been a good and constant flow. money's been good... everyone will tell me that it can be better but i am contented.

4) love: no mistakes for 2010... there were a few close errors but overall, i've been more cautious about the whole relationship thing...

not sure when i will pen down thoughts again... but in closing, my whole family is up for sale for a dollar. give me a dollar and you can have these imbeciles that i have to share a surname with. am seriously considering changing my surname to that of my mother's... just an afterthought!

time management

2009-09-24T00:53:00.003+08:00

over the last couple of months, i have been busy and free... work has been inconsistent. that is not a bad thing... but it's given me a lot of insight about how we spend our time.

ask any man on the street what is most important to them... their reply will be family, friends, work and the list goes on... but how often do our replies reflect the way we manage our lives?

if we claim that family is the most important aspect of holistic living, then are we spending enough time at home? are we doing enough at home?

just this week, i got myself into a mess... well, i decided that the mess needs to be cleared up because it involves someone important. how important? important enough for me to set aside an hour to doing something for the person in question.

what about you? i challenge you to take 5% of your daily time to love someone important, be it family, friend or partner... makes a world of difference!

JJ林俊傑／蔡卓妍 ~ 【小酒窩】MV

2009-08-08T02:15:00.001+08:00

JJ林俊杰／蔡卓妍 (阿SA) ~ 小酒窝

词：王雅君
曲：林俊杰

（JJ）我还在寻找一个依靠和一个拥抱
谁替我祈祷替我烦恼为我生气为我闹

（sa）幸福开始有预兆缘分让我们慢慢紧靠
然后孤单被吞没了无聊变得有话聊有变化了

（合）小酒窝长睫毛是你最美的记号
我每天睡不着想念你的微笑
你不知道你对我多么重要
有了你生命完整的刚好

小酒窝长睫毛迷人得无可救药
我放慢了步调感觉像是喝醉了
终于找到心有灵犀的美好
一辈子暖暖的好我永远爱你到老

（sa）幸福开始有预兆缘分让我们慢慢紧靠
然后孤单被吞没了无聊变得有话聊有变化了

（合）小酒窝长睫毛是你最美的记号
我每天睡不着想念你的微笑
你不知道你对我多么重要
有了你生整完成的刚好

小酒窝长睫毛迷人得无可救药
我放慢了步调感觉像是喝醉了
终于找到心有灵犀的美好
一辈子暖暖的好我永远爱你到老

小酒窝长睫毛迷人得无可救药
我放慢了步调感觉像是喝醉了
终于找到心有灵犀的美好
一辈子暖暖的好我永远爱你到

it's so tough...

2009-07-30T01:30:00.000+08:00

split,
confused,
conflicted,
divided,
torn apart,
lost...

decisions...

2009-07-22T21:15:00.002+08:00

i have decided...

1) to place my dad before anyone or anything else...

2) to devote myself to doing well in my career...

3) to be the friend that all my friends deserve...

4) to let the past live in the past and not attempt to recapture that which is history...

new pants or new shoes?

2009-05-29T00:38:00.002+08:00

Q: should i wear new pants or new shoes tomorrow?

A: new pants! you don't need new shoes cos i'll carry you to wherever you want to go...

aawww... major mush...

i should be a prophet!

2009-05-07T10:14:00.002+08:00

so i received a letter from the authorities about a parking offence... in my mind, i was all ready to appeal and stand my ground about how unprofessional and a whole lot of other things it is...

then i scrutinized the freaking letter to find that they used the entire backpage to inform me of the nine ways i could make payment... granted that there was a number for enquiries (but like every good gahmen agency, you will be placed on hold and made to listen to annoying music)... not a single email or word about how one could argue their stance...

very very disappointing... how typical of the local authorities... you are wrong until you can show that you are innocent... i used to be proud to tell people that i am singaporean... slowly, i'm not so sure anymore...

anyway back to the prophet bit, i was like... maybe i should go to the website and look up a relevant email that i can write to... well, that email does not exist... exactly what i predicted!

this little episode is going to turn out very interesting...

work rant... (part two)

2009-05-06T22:44:00.003+08:00

an example of the kind of shit that i have to live with...

Hi Edwin

Many thanks, once again, for all your excellent work with the team. I know you are keen to work with the students this Friday and I very much appreciate your commitment to DOS. I have now made alternative arrangements for Friday and will be happy to stay in College while you work with the debaters. I would suggest, however, that 4 hours training immediately before a hard Saturday of debating is too long and would ask you to finish by 5.00 pm.
guess what? the top teams (namely acjc, rjc, vjc, hci) all train like there is no day or night... 4pm to 11pm daily for a month during competition season is not uncommon... you did freaking drama, how would you know what is too long? have you ever been a competitive debator?
I think it's important that we try to stick to our published schedules, both from the teachers' perspectives as well as the students'.
yes! your schedule is important... the students as well... hmm, i think we are missing out the coach here...
I am keenly aware of the criticism from last year,
criticism? show me! no one complained when we beat vjc... no one complained when we made it to top eight! no one complained when one of the speakers made it to top twenty speakers and got shortlisted for national team selection! no one complained when i transformed four non-debators into competition speakers! screw you and your criticism!
and do not wish parents of students to be caught unawares by last-minute practices.
the students have been warned of the commitment levels when they were selected and they have been told to clear it with their parents. in addition, i have never held students back against their wishes. if they want to leave early, they can.
Obviously the last-minute effect also applies to teachers in charge who often have other plans during the evenings.
hey, look here! i have two debate competition teams and one school for drama. i offer you extra trainings because the demands are much higher. do you not think i have plans too? do you not think i have to cancel MY plans just so that i can make time for the teams?
I have asked S***a to keep us informed about planned activities, and P***r, A****n and myself will be happy to work within these plans so long as we are given sufficient notice.
you freaking find out that you are through to quarter finals on tuesday morning, i tell you we need the extra training on wednesday. is there sufficient notice for me too? there are three of you! there is one of me... guess who is at the losing end?

Cheers
F U!

N**k
go to hell... and bring your other two imbecile friends with you...

work rant...

2009-05-06T22:25:00.002+08:00

after two years of hard (and heart) work, pushing the teams into top eight... we are one of the five schools that stayed in top eight... so i can safely say that we are one of the top five debating colleges in singapore... i am ready to leave everything behind and move on...

why?

i'm disappointed... the students don't seemed at all interested or motivated to put in any quality in their routine training. yes, granted that the main competition season is over, but that does not mean that we just rest on our laurels and not strive to improve... second week in a row, i have heard nothing but trash on the debating floor... pure crap! to think that each team had competition speakers on them... debators that i invested my sweat and blood into... yet the material they offer is shameful... what did i do wrong? what happened to the passion and love for debating?

i'm disillusioned... ever since the three stooges took over, nothing has gone smooth. i have to train my team like some underground spy force. they want to claim the glory but are unwilling to put in any effort to better the society... i receive emails with no word of appreciation but dripping with undercurrents... why do i even bother? i should just view the whole thing as a paying job... do what i need to, then scoot... like someone commented today, it's ironic how someone from acjc is putting in so much effort and the teachers cannot be bothered... yes, save your own skins and your little behinds... after all, that's all you care about anyway...

time to start afresh, at least i know that i can whip teams into shape in under two months... sometimes love just ain't enough...

thoughts... diving deeper...

2009-05-03T02:19:00.002+08:00

swiftly, the month of may has descended upon us... so much has happened...

parties, gatherings, swine flu, new friends, new faces, new events, new stresses, new challenges...

2009 has been nothing short of dramatic... the road ahead is a blur... do i like it? no! am i going to attempt to embrace it? yes... am i scared? you can bet your last dime i am... there are just too many uncertainities... sometimes i question a little too much... perhaps really, i should just take one day at a time...

what's the year been? routine i guess... the so-called exciting and random life that one would expect of a freelance is settling into a pattern too... stability is good... boring is sometimes safe... done too many dangerous things... made too many reckless decisions...

note to self: slow down... enjoy each moment...everything will be fine...

ten years ago, i was passionate... on fire to make a difference... ten years later, jaded, cynical and somewhat too comfortable in a mould... in church-speak, i need a breakthrough... how and where? so help me God...

thoughts...

2009-04-24T23:57:00.002+08:00

met up with a lot of different groups of people over the last couple of weeks... a lot of exchanges, updates and just idle gossip... heard stuff, found out stuff... some good some bad...

just set me thinking about a lot of things that are happening around me...

sometimes i think too much... sometimes i don't think at all... so how?

to think or not to think?

things that i am thinking of...

1) masters
2) dragonboat
3) career, or the lack of it
4) lifestyle / expenses
5) relationships

i want to take a book... sit on a field and just read, then be able to go into a room and have an interesting conversation about it... i miss studying or rather, i miss the experience of learning... the world has far too much politics and powerplay... a bit more than what i can handle...

perhaps running away for a while would really help... sigh...

confessions of a workaholic

2009-04-14T21:29:00.002+08:00

i have been asking myself lately... do i really enjoy what i do or am i doing what i enjoy? it is a bit of both really...

i am glad that my time these days are divided neatly between coaching debates and drama... really, it's been so far so good... *pat on my own back*

both my competition teams for debates have gone into quarters... meaning they are top eight of the entire pack... that's very very good for me... cos it has not been easy...

my drama students are ever so endearing... i think i have been overly cranky and snapping at them a lot this year... *reminder to self* must make it up to them... they have been screamed, yelled and ranted at... i would hate me if i were in their shoes... that said, the team had a great showing at their first ever syf (mine too!)... hope all goes well...

so what's left for work?

drama-wise... got to execute work plan for second half of the year and also plan for 2010

debates? broaden the pasture... really hope to take on more work in this field whether it is coaching or just conducting workshops...

no matter how tiring work may be... i think i enjoy what i do and thankfully i get to do what i enjoy too!

i am missing...

2009-04-02T21:52:00.002+08:00

1) training with the x-men... the very first debate team that i coached... they are my pride and joy... each and every one of them are so dear and precious to me... my firstborns, the ones who would lay down their lives as long as sir coach needs them to...

2) jg 2009... what a year it has been... to have both my teams face up against each other... i think the quarters match marked this competition for me... a proud father of my own team and my student's team...

3) my bv girls... just did tech run for syf today... they finally hit the essence of the script... not written fantastically but executed flawlessly... whatever result we get, they are gold medalists already!

4) doing silly things at silly times on silly days... haha... driving to town to just shop in one store then rushing off to work again... silly right?

5) dragonboat training... never touch paddle for three weeks liao... having withdrawal...

a friday for recollection...

2009-03-27T09:13:00.002+08:00

it's been a long time since i got the morning off... a bit too long in fact... granted that i have work till late tonight (which i'm perfectly fine with), having a morning off to do 'nothing' is just nice...

well it's a morning of recollection cos i just want to remember some things... good things...

1) bought a new man toy... haha... it's an ipod this time round... then dinner in a weird corner of ngee ann city basement food court... driving home then cutting two lanes to turn into florist... hehe... all worth it!

2) falling ill and getting a stiff neck at the same time... people around me just kept fussing about how i need to take care of myself... perfect excuse to whine to the father... haha... hey! i am a child at heart...

3) debate... both schools going up against each other in quarters... it's going to be interesting watching the coaches actually... the sideshow as i have termed it... *note to self* buy coffee... evil laugh...

4) sitting in the car and watching lady gaga... you have to join club mazda to know what i mean... haha

5) pay cheques! i think i got paid almost every day of the week since sat for different assignments and events... ka-ching ka-ching ka-ching... i love month ends...

第三者的第三者

2009-03-22T01:18:00.001+08:00

我简单回答一句还好
你点头微笑
说过得好就好
你不自然的礼貌
不停摆弄手腕的表
你想说的我已明了

我想现在的她很快乐
希望你晓得这样做不值得
虽然我们曾爱过
她也曾是第三者
但我不会让自己再重蹈覆辙

我很快乐
请不要再说爱我
别再触碰我心里还未伤愈的角落
习惯一个人的我
并不是缺你不可
如果你是爱我的
就别让自己再犯错
我很快乐
请不要再说爱我
我已经把失去的当成了一种收获
悲伤的剧情太多
曾经都侵袭着我
所以我不再做
这第三者的第三者
我想现在的她很快乐

希望你晓得这样做不值得
虽然我们曾爱过
她也曾是第三者
但我不会让自己再重蹈覆辙
我很快乐
请不要再说爱我
别再触碰我心里还未伤愈的角落
习惯一个人的我
并不是缺你不可
如果你是爱我的
就别让自己再犯错
我很快乐
请不要再说爱我
我已经把失去的当成了一种收获
悲伤的剧情太多
曾经都侵袭着我
所以我不再做
这第三者的第三者
我很快乐
请不要再说爱我
我已经把失去的当成了一种收获
悲伤的剧情太多
曾经都侵袭着我
所以我不再做
这第三者的第三者

SOS!

2009-03-18T00:48:00.003+08:00

i have been stabbed! in the back no less...

so the next time you see me, just pull out the daggers that you've put in? thanks!

happy thoughts...

2009-03-17T00:06:00.002+08:00

too much has happened recently... without a shadow of doubt, i am on a whirlwond of emotions everyday, it's a roller-coaster right every living second... but here are some happy thoughts that are keeping me going...

1) getting in to quarters for debates... not just my team but another team that is under my contract... two out of eight teams... that's a huge boost for reputation... definitely good publicity...

2) the friends... everyone, i am very thankful to have you there cushioning my falls... this year has been just bad... i sometimes feel like a parasite leeching off you guys... just happy that i am loved and protected...

3) sms-es... some things just cannot be expressed in words... haha... the irony of it all...

4) syf... teacher said... i think we stand a good chance... it's all coming together... sigh of relief...

i need just enough...

2009-03-12T08:22:00.002+08:00

how do you know when too much becomes too much? where do we draw the line?

simple... when the following occurs...

1) your list of missed calls increases by the day because you are occupied, driving or just simply too tired to handle another business call...

2) you get into your email accounts and pray that you have less than five emails to answer and respond too...

3) your family has to live around your schedule. example? i need to be 'booked' to pay respects to my mother...

4) working seven days a week.

5) the only decent time you can meet anyone is 8.30pm and there are no gurantees of being on time...

6) your students know all the CDs you have in the car...

7) when a job is cancelled, you keep mum about it just so that you have some time off to yourself...

i think i've bitten off more than i can chew for the first quarter of 2009... the fatigue is setting in... BIG TIME!

letter to self...

2009-03-07T01:16:00.002+08:00

hey you,

it's been a while since we spent quality time together. a lot has happened in the last couple of months. your career has taken on new flights that no one ever expected. who would have guessed that in 2009, you would be coaching and overseeing the training of five schools? stressful huh?

well, i'm glad that you have taken it into your stride and managing just fine. i'm glad that you have also built up a strong support system for yourself in every aspect of your career. congrats on the fruits of your labour.

but you know that i won't write unless something drastic happens.

you need to ask yourself: is it really worth it?

yes, it was a slap in the face but can you look beyond that? can you look beyond the beyond? love is blind but you are not. can you see what everyone else around you sees? are you just trying to pursue a noble ambition? in your aimless chase, you just look silly...

just let it go... for the third freaking time... IT IS NOT MEANT TO BE...

if you insist, here's a round of applause. you've put on a great show. i've enjoyed every moment of the drama. now take your bow and get off the stage. this show has ended, the lights are down, the curtains have fallen...

be who you are meant to be NOT who you want to be... live with it, what you want is far from what you are meant to be. you are meant to be that ice-cold killing machine that is capable of any feat. nothing is impossible for you. you know that the sky's the limit... why ground yourself when you should be soaring...

take a deep breath... hold it there... now let it go...

goodbye

the @ditor

温岚 - 傻瓜(新歌完整版MV)

2009-03-01T21:34:00.001+08:00

when it comes to emotions, it's never a black or a white, a right or a wrong, a win or a loss...

farewell...

2009-02-24T13:47:00.002+08:00

for those who are not in the know... my laptop decided to breakdown on me on friday the 13th... how exciting right? anyway the hard disk had to replaced and i finally got my laptop back today...

getting back the laptop from the service centre was a rather painful experience... not because the staff were mean or anything, it was just a case of losing everything in my hard disk...

things that have been lost include...

1) scripts that i've written over the last six months
2) music files and playlists
3) pictures that have captured my growth as a person for the last couple of years...

thinking back, so much has occurred... me moving out of the house, moving back, buying my car, becoming artistic director, career switch to debating and styling, rainbow fish, falling in love and out of love...

is this meant to be a brand-new start? that everything is lost and i have a clean slate to start all over again... but ain't it strange that i spent the last couple of hours recapturing whatever scrapes of memories that i could lay my hands on?

maybe i don't want to start anew... maybe i rather stand put and just be contented where i am as the world moves on...

the heat is on...

2009-02-18T00:10:00.002+08:00

my mind has been clouded with too many things recently BUT i'm glad things are clearing up... and with clear skies and a clear mind... here's the lowdown of how stressed i am going to be...

27th feb: round two of julia gabriels (debates)... they had a great showing at round one so let's all hope that this will build on what they have already established...

13th mar: round three of julia gabriels

4th apr: day one of midc (jc debates)... two matches...

11th apr: day two of midc... another two matches...

14th apr: syf for bedok view...

don't be deceived by the dates... the training is super tiring!

on a separate note... it's so fun conducting the debating workshop at cat high... the boys are a bundle of joy!

final journey...

2009-02-12T22:32:00.003+08:00

i am truly thrilled by my syf piece... the girls are really working their butts off to get everything right... hopefully everything else will fall into place...

i cannot pinpoint a line of the script that i like... the entire piece just moves me... i remember how tough it was to write the ending... the crafting of their demise was close to mission impossible...

saw the off-book version of it over the last couple of sessions... very very happy!

on that note, i'm off to bed because i have to wake up at 6am again...

giving thanks...

2009-02-11T23:55:00.003+08:00

for a marvellous monday...

- kickstarted a new workshop series for a local school... very pleased with the response
- had a great training session... very happy that students were responsive
- reviewed last friday's competition with my students
- confirmed a job with my long-time client but sharing some of the load with a friend... if not really overloaded...

for a terrific tuesday...

- waking up at 7.30am to play driver... haha...
- performance in a school hall that had air-conditioning... shiok la... teachers and children were surprisingly responsive...
- finally did a full run for final journey... looks good!
- went shopping for birthday present then dinner at taka... it was more funny than fun... laughed a lot...

for a wonderful wednesday...

- another early morning but not too bad...
- cheap canteen food... quite tasty too!
- worked an hour but getting two hours' pay!
- met new batch of minions... bad but not that bad...
- dinner with mini-me and gerald... nice chillout and winding down after a long day
- oh, GNC is having a two-for-the-price-of-one promotion... yeah! myoplex stockup!
- cleared bulk of paperwork...

good qi! good qi! good qi!

all work and no play...

2009-02-03T00:22:00.002+08:00

i asked myself if i took too big a bite of the 2009 work pie...

as of now, the battle wounds are as follows...

drama: coaching two schools... one preparing for a major musical in April, another preparing for competition end-march then they move on to a major musical in july. this means non-stop rehearsals till july...

debates: coaching two schools... workshops for another two schools (and possibly a third)... first school goes into competition this friday... competition will drag on for a couple of months if they go all the way till the end... other school's new intake comes in this week which translates into intensive training to bring them up to par. as for the two schools i workshop... thank goodness it's only an hour each session...

so all weekday afternoons are taken up, saturday mornings too... then what about weekday mornings and sunday?

here goes...

weekday mornings: either teaching workshops for SDC, giving talks for HPB, doing shows for ETC or training for DB (gym and cardio)

sundays: giving tuition in the mornings and dragonboat in the afternoon...

so those who want a piece of me... book early... or catch me during the late night... haha!

a whole new world...

2009-01-27T15:01:00.002+08:00

will be directing aladdin this year for a local school... so it is mandatory that i flood myself with 'a whole new world'... yes, i'm hoping that 2009 and the year of the ox will be a whole new world...

new in what ways?

i am still trying to figure out. maybe i'll just be the money-making machine that i have always been. well, it would be nice to go on the journey with someone by my side but like someone once said, 'wow! you have so many friends to take care of you.'

well, i guess someone's right... when all else fails, my circle of friends are there to cushion my fall. so do i need someone?

shame on you bush whackers...

2009-01-21T00:44:00.003+08:00

never been someone to thrash people so openly... but just wanted to share something i heard over bbc yesterday...

bush moved the war on terror from america to enemy soil hence the war on iraq. he was the man behind the capture of saddam. today, people condemn him and celebrate a new era BUT one day, people will forget the money wasted, the lives sacrificed. however, they will remember bush as the one man who brought down the saddam regime and fought terrorism head-on.

now, I DARE YOU BUSH WHACKERS TO DO THE SAME...

the man is no longer president. cut him some slack...

previously...

2009-01-18T23:26:00.003+08:00

back in 2007, i started working on a research paper. this paper never had a conclusion. the reason was simple. i didn't need the paper. it was all done in vain. i had to shelf my plans for an overseas masters.

fast forward to january 2009... i know that my dad would prefer that i not go anywhere and stay put in singapore. but the paper is more than going away for a higher education. on it, i placed my hopes and ambitions. it was meant to be a new beginning.

malcolm always asked me when we were backstage what i wanted?

so what do i want? i want to keep learning, keep writing, keep living. the purpose of an education is to fill an empty mind with an open one. there are a million thoughts racing through my mind but strangely each time i sit down in front of my research materials, peace and tranquility overwhelms me.

guess i was born a geek and meant to grow up to be a nerd... haha

張惠妹-解脫

2009-01-17T02:18:00.001+08:00

was at the ktv today... of all the songs, this was the most striking...

idea hor?

2009-01-12T11:10:00.002+08:00

good idea: cut down on clubbing expenses by going super early for free club entry, not drinking, driving (save on cab).

bad idea: having two hours between show and running off to buy a $350 toy

---

good idea: come home early on a sunday night to spend some time chatting with the father and catching up on sleep

bad idea: staying out every day till three in the morning since wed... so my dad has not seen me for about 100 hours...

---

good idea: maintain a neutral stand about everything

bad idea: hand your phone over to your friends so that they can mess around with your sms-es

---

good idea: drive to work

bad idea: parking at work... my parking was a whopping 17 bucks! my heart skipped a beat

---

good idea: organise a dinner for three

really good idea: pretend to be on msn or in your own world

extremely good idea: keep eating so that you don't become a lamp-post

Love Will Keep (you and me) Alive

2009-01-10T11:14:00.002+08:00

【KTV】周杰倫-說好的幸福呢

2009-01-06T21:16:00.001+08:00

tough questions

2009-01-04T13:06:00.002+08:00

in life, no one has all the answers. some questions just cannot have an answer. i present to you some tough questions. how would you answer them?

1) how's your day?
2) are we drifting apart?
3) so where do we go from here?
4) why do you love me so much?
5) are you afraid of losing me?
6) can i say no?

snapshot of love... version two...

2009-01-03T14:50:00.002+08:00

sweet
superficial
weird
haha
lol
go away
hugs
gosh
sleepy
tired
thanks

goodbye

and this is love...

long long ago...

2009-01-01T20:29:00.002+08:00

in a land far far away, there lived a prince. this prince was not just any ordinary prince. he was the meanest, the most cruel prince ever lived. in fact, he was so full of bile that rumour had it that venom ran in his blood and his heart was made of stone.

one night, while convening with his closest group of advisors (the council he called them), a question was posed to him, 'if you had only one wish, what would it be?' he thought about it carefully. he had everything he wanted, every thing that he fancied, he could obtain with a wield of the iron spectre he held in his hand. in all earnesty, he looked them in the eye and said, 'i want to know if i still have the ability to love.'

the council could hardly believe what they heard. is this the same prince who mocked the lowly, scoff the grotesque and spits on the downtrodden? then the wisest among them spoke, 'if you want to love again, you will need a heart of flesh. a heart that beats and feels.'

'where can i find this heart of flesh?' he asked.

the council members had no answer for him. no one that night could furnish him a reply but the stone-hearted prince was not about to give up. armed with a stallion, he rode off in search of a heart of flesh.

his first stop was a village. a little hamlet tucked away by the shadow of night. a place that was far beyond the reach of his kingdom. it was a sight that he never seen. laughter, smiles, kisses, hugs. silk, satin, cotton, linen. he asked, he questioned, he inquired. where was this elusive heart of flesh? not there apparently. no one there could offer him any clue. eat, drink and be merry. that was their proclamation.

the prince then thought, perhaps a decree would hasten his search. a decree he wanted, a decree he got. like a wildfire, news went from town to town, village to village. some came with a heart of gold, others offered a beating heart. he fancied none of them.

after searching high and low, far and wide, the prince finally threw in the towel. this search has brought nothing but tears and cracks on his heart of stone. his heart cannot be replaced. he was destined to live with his heart of stone simply because only stone could resist the venom that flowed within his veins. he had failed in his quest.

like every tale, he lived happily after.

end for a new beginning... beginning for a new end...

2008-12-31T09:22:00.002+08:00

the final day of the year is always an interesting one... after today, all that has happened in 2008 would become history... it would be last year's affairs... so is that an end or a beginning?

whichever it is... 2009 is looking interesting... here are some reasons why...

1) career (or the lack of it): took up another school for debating. so i have two schools for debates and one for drama... doing a simple calculation of teaching two hours a day, the figures come up to something pretty decent... so the rumours are true after all, one can survive working minimal hours... hehe

2) carpark: quite funny why i listed it but i've discovered a way to DOUBLE my parking points at vivocity... but yes, it still involves spending lots of money though... so i guess in the brand new year, i will be hanging out at vivo A LOT more...

3) calvin klein, chanel: enough said...

hmm... how the pattern emerged is beyond me... probably due to the sub-conscious working overtime...

4) clubbing: time to explore new clubs and find new kakis!

5) car: to buy or not to buy... haha

that's about it for now... don't want to start rambling!

christmas presence...

2008-12-26T12:13:00.003+08:00

christmas presents this year came in the form of presence... catching up with people you don't see often, seeing more of people that you see all the time... here's a glimpse of this year's christmas presence...

eve... dinner at ming's

ming and wilson: lovely couple, lovely food, lovely home... ming, so happy for you... i still remember how back in college, we would be daydreaming together outside our container...

liow: well done buddy! and yes, good things are worth waiting for... i can't wait till 2010...

serene: if life has a constant, you would be it... you're the same yesterday, today and i'm sure tomorrow too... wait! does that make you God?

sharon: haiz... haha... we still love you... we really do!

eve... countdown at zouk

i don't remember counting down cos we were rushing to finish a full bottle by midnight... that worked out to an hour of intense drinking... so from eleven till midnight, the few of us had a bottle, a lambo and i helped finish a martini...

special mention to gerald for his driving! the windscreen wipers come up everytime he tries to signal... super hilarous when there are three highly intoxicated people in the car...

day... boon keng

my very first attempt at a christmas party... chic christmas party... chic as in chicken... invite was sent out to gather friends for chicken rice... it was a party, singapore-style... in a hawker centre where one can come in tee-shirts, berms and slippers... well, i had three guests! haha... so i didn't fail that badly...

was good to see bestian again... oh and aaron is damn tall la... for once, i felt like a hobbit...

day... clubbing

one word... bad...

i think because of the last night, we were all tired... and it didn't help that the pick up was super slow... to make things worse, at various points, snow and foam rained on you... result? soapy skin and sticky hair... lousy lousy lousy! especially when i was wearing a nice expensive scarf...

the silver lining? supper... the sambal seafood fried rice was good... guilin jelly was nice also!

time to get back to work...

this time...

2008-12-21T18:57:00.002+08:00

this time last year...

i was wrapping up my superstar virgo project... after being onboard for six weeks, i was finally going home... but what was home? the six weeks had a death, two breakups and a lot of family drama...

this time this year...

wrapped up precious moments at suntec... a lot less family drama... a bunch of new friends... a handful of fragile relationships...

this time last year...

been to KL, phuket, langkawi, penang... slept passed malacca countless times...

this time this year...

i'm in singapore... friends are in KL, vietnam, taiwan, around the world...

this time last year...

made a tough decision to shelf my plans for an overseas masters... i was in preparation for four years... stopped writing my paper because i knew i was not going anywhere near the states, hong kong or australia...

this time this year...

still thinking of furthering my studies... but it now looks like a distant dream...

this time last year...

single

this time this year...

single

this time next year...

i will be strong, i will be one step closer to myself and i will be embracing my life...

@ditor's @-lib

2008-12-19T15:44:00.003+08:00

situation 1 - sometime during dinner

friend: so what are your plans for the future?
me: try to take over the world
friend laughs and then in a serious tone...
friend: no seriously, what are your REAL PRACTICAL plans for the future?
me in a deadpan serious voice
me: try to take over HALF the world?

situation 2 - while typing message on yahoo group

before posting the message, you can select the language to post message in. i had half a mind to post the message in arabic or croatian... now won't that be fun... although my students will think that i am psycho... wait! they call me the ebil (evil) coach... so what's new?

situation 3 - msn with ex-housemate

hm: how are you?
me: i'm good... enjoy the down time from work and working out my calendar for 2009
hm: wow
me: nothing to wow about... in event-speak, it's unemployment in dec and begging for work in january to cover losses

i am such a funny fella!

in love again...

2008-12-19T01:50:00.003+08:00

yes... yes... yes... i'm in love!!! i'm in love with everyman!!! haha... it's not a typing error... everyman is written by philip roth... i'm about twenty pages in and i love the mind games that roth plays...

construction, brillant... language, simple yet powerful... here's a quote that i really love... 'There's no remaking reality. Just take it as it comes. Hold your ground and take it as it comes'... my gosh, based on this one line, i can write a whole freaking thesis! ideas of form, content, intertextuality, writing as a construct, all the lit theories, reader-writer relationship... i'm hyperventilating at the depth of that one statement la...

correction! I'M HAVING LITERARY ORGASM! haha!

harkens back to the undergraduate days where i worship the ground that philip roth walks on... he writes with such elegance and beauty... yes writing is an art and roth is a master at that! of course there was sidney, milton, shakespeare, jonson, mary shelley...

anyway, i am going to attempt to pick up reading again...

promise to self: an hour of reading a day keeps stupidity away. oh! throw in an hour of the history channel too... it's good tv! haha...

the most important men in my life...

2008-12-17T01:47:00.002+08:00

1) the father... he's forever so giving and generous. i wish that as i age, i become more like him... his insight towards life and his devotion to the three of us leaves me speechless... his sense of humour is also one-of-a-kind, he smiles at the face of adversity and spits at difficulty... he is my hero... truly!

2) the financial planner... granted that he earns money from me but i give him credit of the good work he does. he's fuss-free and knows exactly what i want out of my money... i bring home the bacon, he tells me how to cook it... sweet eh!

3) the brother... let's just say that i am not an ungrateful brat. i remember the days when i was literally a struggling artiste, waiting for a big break or any break for that matter... you would buy me dinner... a simple packet of rice that costs you two bucks... and you did it very often... not to mention how you always topped up the rice cos the owners of the stall used to say... extra rice no extra charge... so don't worry, whatever may happen, you've got me!

4) long shao... time really flies. we've been there for each other for the good, the bad and the ugly... we still have our disagreements but i guess our friendship has withstood the test of time... the world is our oyster... next stop, kayak one-star! haha...

sorry girls... you've gotta wait till i'm inspired before you get some space on the online @dition... haha

survivor... outwit, outplay, outlast

2008-12-15T19:48:00.002+08:00

i have been a huge fan of the recent season of survivor... the backstabs, the blindside, the lies... makes good tv! even the most 'honest' of them all was not all that honest...

will i be more than a survivor? can i outwit, outplay or outlast... perhaps i'm just at a point that i'm feeling pretty vulnerable... things don't seem to be going to well, some are even spinning out of control... i'm not enjoying life as much as i did... i know life is good but is life happy?

not quite... perhaps madonna's right... that we are living in a material world and i'm (or, rather we are all...) material girls...

either we want materials like leather, silk, diamonds, platinum... or we are made up of materials like plastic, metal, water... cold, hard and without direction...

singlehood versus single-ness

2008-12-15T04:09:00.002+08:00

staying single is a highly interesting state... it can be a state of mind or state of being... you can hold another' hand and feel miles apart or you can be living in different time zones yet sense the other party's presence...

promise to self no. 2: stay single in mind, in thought and unfortunately, in being as well... don't ask why cos it's too tiring for me to pen down all my thoughts at this moment...

thoughts... in general...

2008-12-13T06:11:00.002+08:00

since i still have fifty minutes during my witching hour, i might as well make use of the time and write something...

if you love something, let it go. if it returns, it's yours.

too many times, we have held on too tightly. perhaps in holding on, we have unknowingly suffocated that which we held. yet holding on tightly gives one security, that through it all, i will hold on firmly and not let go...

looking back, me holding on has never been all nice. admittedly there have been times when i let go, times when i refused to budge and gripped, times when i just had to feel something in the palm of my hand. selfish, self-centred... perhaps...

so it's a challenge to hold on to something dear to you, to keep it close to you, safe in your arms.

however it is a feat to let it go, let go because if it is yours to begin with. it will return. letting go takes confidence and self-assurance that all things will be fine.

as the end of the year draws near, i will not come up with new resolutions or new targets for myself... instead, i shall make promises with me... promises that i will attempt to keep... and they shall surface over the new couple of weeks on The Online @-dition... haha...

here's the first:

i promise that i shall hold on to the people in my life. jesus, my father, my friends, my teammates, my bosses, my fellow workers, my students. to them, i give my time and my limited wisdom.

confessions...

2008-12-12T09:54:00.002+08:00

1) i am lazy... dad came into room last night and said that i was a karang guni (rag and bone) man because of the amount of things i was hoarding. admittedly i was hoarding things but mainly i was just LAZY to pack my room...

2) i am dirty... oh, the countless nights that i have gone to bed without showering. to think that i used to advocate how important it is to keep the skin nice and fresh before bedtime. but usually it's because i am dog-tired.

3) i am wicked... dressing room jokes at the expense of my sister. i detest her but if she her some of the things i said, she would fume. latest joke... edwin: santa, santa, but i wanted a puppy for christmas! santa: i gave you a sister didn't i?

4) i am partying too much... wednesday, friday, saturday, sunday... add that to the number of late night dinners and hanging out sessions... in true singapore style, CAN DIE MAN!

5) i am arrogant... met an insurance agent yesterday. i think i dissed him a bit too much. a bit too much of an ego rush for me... but it was fun while it lasted... i think he will remember that hour for a long time to come *evil laugh*

okay... back to packing the room

Allswell Commercial - THE Sequel. Because I love you

2008-12-10T09:25:00.003+08:00

Because I love you...

2008-12-10T09:25:00.001+08:00

before i slip into oblivion...

2008-12-05T10:20:00.002+08:00

here are just some stuff to happened over the last couple of weeks...

1) went and returned from the batam work trip... my thoughts, great people i worked with (these will be OUR performers), bad overseas talents, bad management, bad food, bad lodging (no water pressure in shower and lousy air-con)... i really didn't enjoy the trip though it was just an overnight stay...

2) had my pay cut by a few hundred bucks... it's super annoying la... i'm easygoing when it comes to work but when people start to be picky and all, then you are just taking my kindness as weakness... no more mr nice guy!

3) rehearsed and started the precious moments show at suntec city... this is one of the fastest and least hassle shows that i have been involved in... maybe just cos maybe... *evil thought*

4) getting a year-end bonus from rainbow... not sure of the amount but every little bit counts!

5) discovered that a certain member of the family has been siphoning money off the father's bank account... for goodness' sake, he's your own father!

6) clubbing, partying, drinking... need i say more?

to do or not to do...

2008-11-26T23:48:00.005+08:00

just wondering if i should take the following actions (for pure recreation):

1) wake up bright and early tomorrow morning at 7am then head to ikea for their preview thingy. they are giving free breakfast... so i'm wondering if i should go for free breakfast? just to soak up the typical singaporean-ness atmosphere...

2) write in to zara and complain about saleschild who dissed me because i was in baggy t-shirt, berms and flip-flops... the last time i complained about someone, the fellow was fired... actually i would like to get that asshole fired for tarnishing the image of zara... oh, and it'll be fun to get someone sacked too!

3) prepare nice outfit for batam's event... apparently i am invited for the dinner... but i would really rather just hang out backstage or laze in my room... don't really fancy sitting through a five hour dinner although the programme looks way cool...

4) make life that much more difficult for people who work with me... haha... i have been known to be a perfectionist with ULTRA high standards...

5) say yes to event on christmas day... considering it is a late noon / early evening gig, i should be fine and well from the partying on christmas eve...

6) religiously watch 'little nyonya'... it's good stuff... and coming from me, IT IS GOOD...

this time round... all comments will be appreciated and maybe, deleted... (*winks*)

final journey

2008-11-25T00:57:00.003+08:00

in case you think i've suddenly turned all dark and depressed... i haven't...

final journey is just the name of my latest play for my students... it's definitely partly inspired by all that has been going on around me... the issue of LOVE...

when is comes to love... which is the greatest form? the love of self? the love of the other half? or the love of your firstborn (in this case, it could be your child, career or just something that you've crafted out of love)?

but one thing is certain... you can give without loving but you cannot love without giving... yes and sometimes, love demands that you give up even your own life... therein lies the contradictions and various schools of thought... how, then, is one capable of loving if he is dead? Is sacrifice really the ultimate act of love? Giving up everything and not holding back... then what about loving yourself?

Ain't life strange?

Newton's Laws

2008-11-24T09:52:00.002+08:00

newton states that an object in motion will stay in motion...

perhaps we have all ignored this simple fact of life... if we choose to stop, it will take time to decelerate and then come to a complete halt... when the time arrives for us to move again, it will be tough cos there is the initial acceleration...

so what can one do?

maybe don't stop... just keep moving... forward, backwards, sideways... whatever life throws at you, stare at it with a note of defiance and just keep moving... yes the going will get tough but as long as we keep moving, we will get somewhere...

Kelly陳慧琳 - Lover's Concerto MV

2008-11-23T16:37:00.001+08:00

was driving home last night... super captivated by the simplicity of the song... first heard it at Ming's wedding... pretty apt to hear it a second time on a wedding weekend (not mine unfortunately...)

music is my favourite expression of love... in the case of this song, it's simple, it's direct... and ultimately, it makes the world a more bearable place to live in...

here i am...

2008-11-19T20:05:00.002+08:00

it's a day after the birthday... while everyone was curious about what i was up on on that special day, i just did what i like... that meant sleeping till 12... then met ivan for ice-cream and had dinner with the council at night...

no fuss, no fancy... just a simple day doing the things i want to do... i guess after endless workflow, a day off is really a day off... the ability to switch off and ignore all work calls or messages... it felt good and was definitely a treat i wanted to give myself...

has anything changed since turning 27? not really... i'm still me, still worried about the year ahead, thinking about my next project and the uncompleted work, concerned about the bills and paperwork that needs attention...

but perhaps i may not have to face all these alone... now wouldn't that be nice? haha...

anyhow, the year end schedule looks pretty okay... this weekend would be regatta, next sat, off to batam for a short assignment... then i start precious moments on 1st dec... that then takes me to 20th dec... and there's the countdown event and a new year's day event too... in the midst of all these, got to start training with my drama students for syf and debates students (if i'm still coaching them)...

i love my life... do you?

it's my party!

2008-11-18T00:32:00.002+08:00

after many years of not being able to celebrate because of work... for instance, last year's birthday was spent onboard superstar virgo, this year i finally took time off to spend time with family and friends... my little way of saying thank you... so here's what has happened and what will be happening...

1) the clubbing bunch: had a theme party... it was a labels party and the task was to come dressed from head to toe in a single brand... i was decked out in my favourite zara and of course there were a couple of levi's, topman AND special mention to the pair dressed in apparel from johor and bangkok... haha...

2) the council: we are doing dinner tonight at some peranakan place...

3) the family: dinner on wed... dad's buying, i think... but it's hawker fare... haha...

4) the buddy: i think we might be doing lunch later today... not sure... haha

that should be all for the birthday week... think there are a couple more dinners and lunches lined up but for once in a very long time, it feels great to take time off and celebrate my coming into existence...

happy birthday to me!

guilty!

2008-11-09T18:17:00.002+08:00

i'm convicting myself for the follwing crimes...

1) consumption of fastfood: for the past week, i think i have fastfood on alternate days... guilty!

2) neglect of elderly: on a daily basis, i communicate with my dad for less than an hour... it's either i'm too tired, too busy or simply not at home... guilty!

3) neglect of gym/training: i was just too lazy to move my ass... very guilty!

4) neglect of friends: my closest council has been attempting to throw a birthday dinner for me BUT the birthday boy just has a forever-changing schedule... guilty!

and since we are on the guilt issue... i have a confession too... i'm going to splurge on myself this birthday... just going to spend, spend and spend some more! especially since i'm an official member of the 60s club... for 2008 at least...

presents!!!

2008-11-06T22:50:00.002+08:00

was just doing some mindless shopping today and saw christmas decorations going up... stores are starting to push out christmas offers already... before we get distracted by christmas presents, we shall all focus on an even more important event!

the diva aka the ice cold bitch aka the emperor of theatre hell aka the greenmonster aka the roadshow xiao tian wang aka auntie killer aka the handwashing kid aka the da ming xing IS turning 27... *faints*

and here's my wishlist for this year... i'm going to dream big and just spoil myself... and since i'm turning 27... i get 27 gifts!

1) that special someone (i deserve love too!)
2) a DS... in black
3) an ipod
4) a pair of boots
5) a photoshoot
6) new glasses
7) a bag (cos i gave my big big body bag away... i need one of those huge stylo bags)
8) my own dragonboat (yes... you heard me right)
9) a night in a six-star hotel suite
10) a pair of miAdidas
11) a MacBook
12) new shades
13) a bear that resembles me! (inspiration drawn from stella and candy's birthday)
14) a nice dinner at hyatt (pete's place... an all time favourite)
15) a personal assistant
16) vouchers to topman, espirit, zara
17) a fantastic tan! (i hate my ugly tanlines)
18) a pair of contact lenses
19) handphone (not sure of the model yet... but i would like a new mobile)
20) more cash would be nice (in fact money in general)
21) more vivo points (free parking is very important to me)
22) cashcard with ridiculous values in them (see above)
23) petrol vouchers ( i think we know which direction we are going)
24) a brand new car (new set of wheels only cost 1k... haha)
25) inspiration
26) a bigger room
27) THE WORLD... actually my own club would be fine too... haha

driving away the monday blues...

2008-11-03T23:42:00.003+08:00

here're some surefire ways to perk up a monday morning...

1) receive an sms at 2.30am stating that 7.30am show is cancelled... yippee since (a) i just got home and was about to go to sleep (b) i was dreading the 7am drive to woodlands

2) do show at jurong primary school... the students have this infectious energy that impressed me deeply... when i drove in to the school, had to park near the canteen and there were like a group of eight students who tried to assist me in parallel parking (i had to shoo them off for fear of knocking into them)... whilst on stage, the students came up to us (the actors) and introduced themselves and made sure we were well taken care of... they got us seats... had the fans blowing at us... and they were just making backstage small talk... super pro la... I AM IMPRESSED!

3) check email to realise that i have a cheque ready... then went for a rehearsal session to receive another cheque... and came home to check bank account and see that a third company has banked in a cheque for me too! three cheques in a day... woohoo!

snapshots of love

2008-10-30T23:24:00.003+08:00

screech
stop
stairs
stop
standstill
stop
stagger
stop
stare
stop
support
stop
steady

sigh... this is love

what a week...

2008-10-27T19:55:00.002+08:00

i can't believe that another week has just passed... anyway, it was not too bad a week... here are seven reasons why it was a lovely week...

1) managed to see my bedok view students on their last day of school... and went shopping with the teachers-in-charge to buy stuff for next year... so shiok, shopping for work... haha!

2) production is taking a better shape... things seem a bit clearer...

3) new pair of shoes!

4) been on youtube watching project runway season 5... wow! super shiok... shiok because i actually have time to laze at home and watch youtube... haha!

5) PARTIES... birthdays, clubbing and more clubbing... a bit tired but it's great to be out with friends and catching up on gossip...

6) good news! a couple of friends are pregnant and one's getting married... so happy for all of them and their families...

7) love is in the air... not mine but it is lurking around somewhere... congrats to the newly hitched!

bag-to-school...

2008-10-20T22:00:00.002+08:00

20/10/2008 6:09:34 PM Stella @WiN hey dude, would u be interested if say for Christmas, we did something for the less privileged kids?

20/10/2008 6:10:01 PM @WiN Stella actually if you are keen... i have a plan

well, a message from stella triggered a buried plan of mine... since the day i became a freelance artiste, i told myself that fame is fleeting and the only true investment that one can make is in lives and education...

anyway, years ago, i devised a project that never saw daylight because i never managed to get anyone to help me with it... hopefully this year, it will happen...

'bag' to school is a christmas project, aimed at sharing the christmas joy with children who have to get by with less... we all know that going back to school at the start of the new academic year is always a stressful process both in terms of academics and the finances... new books, new uniforms, new shoes, new bag, new almost-everything...

what the project aims to do is to provide each child with a brand-new school bag and in it, the essentials for a new school year... things in it could include a pair of new shoes, a water bottle, a full set of stationery, some vouchers from bookstores or even supermarkets (children do need to eat too!) but the main purpose is for the donor to buy the things they want to bless the child with...

well, stella is going to work out the fine print... but if it works out, it will be a damn cool project! the far and few readers of this blog... be ready to give and give generously!

let it out...

2008-10-20T19:15:00.002+08:00

just need to vent...

1) had to host a damn long event on sat... just received a call from the events company... main boss was not totally happy with the way the event went... well, i can't possibly defend myself, can i? under circumstances like these, the host (read: public face) is always the target board for feedback...

what to do? nobody knew what they were doing... the programme rundown was not properly done... no one sat me down to go through the names of YOUR vip... nobody knew what kind of mood they wanted to create... nobody told me that the audience was going to be in slippers under their graduation gowns... seriously, if i may be abrasive, you build yourselves a little sandcastle and claim to be lord... but alas, it is nothing but sand...

2) i love my work... i just hate the people... read (1)... it is another one of those people who self-declare themselves great and mighty... seriously dude, you gave actors the liberty to change lines because (a) your english sucks (b) your writing sucks (c) your plot sucks... so what's your problem?

and stop staring at my fucking crotch! you ain't getting anywhere near it...

3) how to say certain things and keep another's self value intact? in a different time and space, you would be another stranger... someone i would never give a second glance to... you would be free of my venom, my temper, my antics BUT we are a team... like that how? how to not be abrasive and yet maintain my own sanity...

HAIZ...

if only...

but there are silver linings in each cloud... there was definitely one in the rainclouds today... jiayou:)

i have a dream... of life's simple pleasures...

2008-10-16T23:50:00.002+08:00

recently, i have adopted a 'don't drive unless needed' policy... this then translates into leaving the car at home and taking public transport to town for work or leisure...

anyway, riding on the bus and train frees up my travel time to pick up reading... so a couple of days back, i managed to read the famous 'i have a dream' speech while heading off to rehearsals... there was definitely a few moments that i felt blessed and inspired... blessed because i am born into a privileged position and inspired due to the fact that words can have so much power on people...

so today, i left my car at home after rehearsals and took a train to raffles place for my meeting... lo and behold, meeting time was pushed back an hour so i had time to burn. so gallant me walked all the way to funan and found a nice little cafe... order a salad and a drink... then munched away... of course i was flipping through magazines whilst enjoying my little teatime...

but such is the true pleasure of life... it does not have to be a new jacket, new shoes, a huge paycheque, praises or garlands... just simple silence with the self... to have no one disturb you and give you personal space to be alone... it's something that i have not done for a long time and i'm glad i did it today...

perhaps i should reinstate my movie mondays when i buy myself a ticket to any movie on a monday and just watch it on my own... just to be with me...

Labels for me please...

2008-10-12T11:00:00.001+08:00

@ work...

2008-10-09T15:56:00.002+08:00

here's a list of stuff that will bring me till the end of 2008... overall, i am very pleased with myself and the results (in terms of ka-ching)... so thank you God and all the comrades, colleagues and clients...

1) nov 10-12: tree neighbours (asian civilisation museum)

2) nov 12-15: dunearn secondary (acjc theatre)

3) nov 22/23: river regatta

4) dec 05-21: precious moments (suntec city)

5) dec 31: unconfirmed hosting gig (yes, it's a countdown event)

the week has been interestingly relaxing... i head for rehearsals from 10.15am (odd time is so that we can avoid erp) till 1pm... then come home/gym/swim(like today)... so shiok! this is the kind of life i envisioned to have when i became a freelance artiste... haha

so do i love my work? yes, but i love the flexibility and the freedom more...

okay, i'm off to the pool and then later tonight, it's the final fitting for the tiong bahru plaza fashion show... yes FINAL!!! *evil laugh*

help needed...

2008-10-08T22:39:00.003+08:00

here's a list of things that i have to do some time soon...

1) send the car to workshop to get the (&^@&#^ repanelling done so that i can send it to the vehicle inspection after AND then i can renew my auto insurance and pay my road tax...

2) find a day when i am (a) free (b) bored to bits and make my way down to wherever that place is and get my identity card replaced. i feel like a stowaway without my id... haha...

3) go shopping... with the recent influx of cheques (thanks i theatre, belinda, anderson junior college, etc), i have my eyes set on a zara jacket and a pair of boots from river island... i left my running shoes at kallang... if they are not there next sunday, then i need a new pair of cross trainers too...

4) email teachers about year end programmes and schedule for next year... better settle all these early before they go on holiday...

5) try and take over the world

6) plan my birthday

maybe i should really hire a personal assistant... hmm...

i have migrated...

2008-10-07T21:20:00.002+08:00

okay people, rainbow fish is now history... so no more fishy tales...

the next production is tree neighbours, a puppet show for children but tickets are not open to the public... the team looks quite fun but i think we have a lot of work ahead of us. rehearsals have started and everyday it's just been lots of finger exercises...

on a different note, river regatta is about a month away... so lately, i've been steeping up on training too... so if anyone wants to hit the gym or go running, just holler!

tata for now...

b.s. for the month: moisturize, moisturize and moisturize. that will include face, body, hair and lips!

fishy tales... the tail end...

2008-09-24T22:24:00.002+08:00

another couple of days and i would have completed 61 shows for rainbow fish...

overall, it has been a great experience... working with friends and making new ones... the moments that we have created on stage were truly magical and will be engraved in my mind for a very long time to come...

at this point, it is truly a bittersweet feeling... i want it to end cos we are all tired... for it to continue will be great cos we really have a lot of fun together... but i'm sure our paths will cross again...

btw, catch the wacky bunch at st james powerhouse this friday as we celebrate the end of a sellout season!

moving up and on...

2008-09-13T00:24:00.002+08:00

my stay in seaweedy deep will last another two weeks. the run has been fulfilling thus far. we had our ups, our downs, our good and our bad but i guess the entire team has stuck together thus far. the current run of rainbow fish has definitely broken all previous records in more ways than one... let's just say that i am very honoured to be working alongside the people i have on the team...

from the sea, i will move on to the runway. the fashion show assignment is slowly taking shape... next weekend will kickstart everything... fingers crossed...

i also just said yes to another show... this one is running from 10th to 12th nov... a puppet show this time round... more details once i start rehearsals...

fishy tales... staying afloat

2008-09-09T00:09:00.002+08:00

okay... i technically should be in bed by now since i need to awake at 6am to prepare for shows tomorrow... but i cannot resist dropping a couple of lines before i sleep...

rainbow fish opened on monday... we've done 18 shows so far... another 43 to go... my voice is gone, i'm down with flu... fingers crossed that i will feel much better tomorrow... i just need to survive through the week... things will get better i hope...

on the side, my off day was hardly a break. had to consolidate materials for a couple of talks and then there were a few business calls to handle. also had a few new show bookings coming in... me is tired tired TIRED!

i want a holiday!

fishy tales... v-power!

2008-09-04T00:18:00.001+08:00

working on rainbow fish has definitely been a blast... it's a fun team and we are all settling in quite nicely... yes, it's just day three but everyone's pretty bored... the fooling around onstage has begun... that's a good sign... i'm starting to fool around with my makeup too... haha...

by the way... v stands for violet!

fishy tales... the swimming continues

2008-08-31T21:10:00.001+08:00

it's been a five week rehearsal process. we are finally opening tomorrow...

61 shows... 18,000 tickets... sold out show...

in the dressing room, tensions are high... but we should do all right... i am so glad that i have my longtime friends on the team... who would have imagined after more than a decade that we would all end up in the same industry, in the same production...

time to grab dinner... shower and then sleep...

don't be late...

2008-08-30T01:06:00.003+08:00

in theatre, timing is very important. early or late entries can severely affect the outcome of a scene, throw other actors off and even possibly spoil the entire production.

in life, timing is even more important. people always exclaim that it's better to be late than never but at times, being late is almost as good as being never. it's all too late...

anyway, i'm just rambling... here's another BS to reward you loyal readers: when applying eye gel/cream, use the tip of your ring fingers... reason? the ring finger is the least used of all our fingers hence there are less fine lines and wrinkles on their tips. hence the application will be smoother and more even...

Memory

2008-08-26T07:58:00.001+08:00

fishy tales...

2008-08-25T18:34:00.002+08:00

1) rainbow fish is so sold out that we have only 100 tickets left... 15000 tickets sold... i think this is what we call a sellout show... yippee!!! it's motivation to work even harder...

2) had our preview this morning. it went surprisingly well. nothing major to work on... so goodie... violet is very pleased with what he's done...

3) i'm just wondering if my skin will be in tiptop condition considering that my makeup goes over a layer of peel-off masque. so technically i am (a) doing a masque almost daily (b) exfoliating daily... haha... but not posting up any pictures as yet... won't want to spoil the fun!

everything is really falling into place with regards to the production. me is very happy. rainbow fish is definitely a highlight to my 2008.

fair or not?

2008-08-23T09:17:00.003+08:00

i was walking back to jurong east mrt station last saturday when i heard a little girl ask her mother... mummy, is it fair that nice people wear ugly clothes and ugly people wear nice clothes? my initial reaction was... i hope i'm neither...

well... life is fair i guess... you can't have the best of everything... born ugly, dress well... born gorgeous but lousy fashion sense... in that sense, we will always have our strengths and weakness... spots where we just don't match up. question is, what are we going to do about it?

routine update

2008-08-21T22:35:00.003+08:00

life for the past couple of days has been pretty routine...

wake up by 7am... do vocal warm-up while showering... be at rehearsals by 9am...

rehearse rehearse until 1 or 2pm... go off for teaching, drama classes or my workshops...

head to the nearest or most convenient fastfood place... grab dinner and head home...

check email... answer email... chat on msn... shower... sleep...

not very exciting but it's going to be like that for the coming week as well... energy is at a new low cos the rehearsal process for rainbow fish is no walk in the park... would i still do it if i could choose all over again? definitely! i must say i have been blessed to have the current team, we get along pretty well... we are not the best of friends but we work well together... that is enough for me...

united we stand...

2008-08-19T23:33:00.002+08:00

in case you are a stalker and would like to track my movement this weekend... i'll be at united square... doing the rainbow preview on sat from 12pm - 1pm... then there's a possible hosting thing to do too... kaching!

strange how i have no qualms dealing directly with mall management... guess once you get stabbed in the back, you really throw loyalty out the window huh?

so yar... come by united square. bring along a caramel macchiato though! haha...

by the way... next off day: 8th sep! rainbow fish would have ran for a week by then...

water... here, there, everywhere...

2008-08-17T23:00:00.003+08:00

my recent lifestyle is all about water... rainbow fish and dragonboat...

the stress of rainbow is slowly creeping up on me... i am definitely not the strongest vocalist (i cannot read scores, pitch or do anything 'musical-ish')... not a fantastic dancer... so when others pitch easily or master choreo within a snap of their fingers, i need a lot more time. AND time is not on my side... we open in two weeks! i don't want to disappoint the director, fellow cast and most definitely myself...

dragonboat is the other thing... i definitely enjoy rowing BUT the past couple of weeks, my heart is just not in it. my mind is just about rainbow and the tiong bahru launch. today i was out of sorts... during training, was constantly thinking of my songs for rainbow... coach probably would want me in the final line-up for november's competition and hinted at moving training time to suit my schedule... i'm not so sure if i am worth it...

i need to clear my mind and focus... CONCENTRATE!!!

now... off to memorise script for rainbow!

Hey Juliet - Drawn!

2008-08-16T11:22:00.003+08:00

sent to me by my student... way cool!

其實幸福很簡單

2008-08-16T10:31:00.001+08:00

urban escapade

2008-08-13T23:42:00.001+08:00

iora chic, black/white, yuppie sleek, high school fun, summer splendour, 50+50+50, urban essentials, afterhours... titles for my new project...

like it? i love it... more details coming your way...

september's splash...

2008-08-12T21:44:00.002+08:00

okay... so you've heard me rant and rave about how choreography has been very stressful... but it's all under good control now...

well rehearsals for rainbow are going pretty smoothly... blocked the entire show already... yay! so now it's down to running it from the first line till the final note... haha... probably doing that tomorrow... it's gonna be fun fun FUN!

oh for those of you who would like tickets... go to the sistic website... type in rainbow fish and book away! from what i hear... we are about 95% sold out so you'll need to grab your tickets fast fast... haha!

do you love singapore?

2008-08-09T12:15:00.002+08:00

on national day, this is one common question we ask ourselves... do we love our nation? well, woke up this morning and went online to listen to the national day message... the usual run-of-the-mill things mentioned...

so do i love my nation? though my answer is not a loud resounding 'yes', some part of me feels for the homeland i grew up in. the faces and places are all familiar to me. but will i wear red today and wish people a happy national day? probably not...

writers and artists love their nation in a highly different way. they often speak out or more accurately, against the nation to demonstrate their nationalism. they will point out the underbelly, the unmentionables, the downtrodden... in almost all the scripts that i have written, i probably have taken potshots at the way the country functions... stuff that we all know but never dare talk about...

perhaps people need to talk more about it if we want to see change...

here are my four changes and three wishes for the nation...

1) change our attitude to the elderly... they have worked hard for the nation. they should be treasured and respected...

2) change the way we discipline our children... if we have to beat the daylights out of them to make them learn, so be it!

3) change our view of private schools... MANY people take courses in private schools yet they are not 'recognised' by the very people who permit their establishment. an irony isn't it?

4) change our housing policies... i like my multi-racial block of flats. but multi-national? i need to think twice. i find it ridiculous that my fellow citizens have to sleep at the pavilion, void deck or carparks when subsidised housing that should be available to them is somehow given to other nationalities.

5) i wish for a fair nation... somehow i am very unsettled by the fact that traffic police clear the roads so that officials can have a smooth passage, especially when they are civil servants.

6) i wish for the right people in the right places... may people find the job that allows them to develop their maximum potential and not turn into an office drone...

7) final wish... that we become a thinking people and not a doing people...

me is drowning...

2008-08-07T23:02:00.002+08:00

had six hours of rehearsals today... my conclusion?

i suck at singing and remembering steps... while others hit notes and pitch perfectly, i need a lot more time to get it right and it is tiring trying to play catch up...

time to work doubly hard and get everything in place before monday...

I CAN DO IT!!!

please don't stop the music!

2008-08-05T09:47:00.003+08:00

well, i recently got extremely bored with the six cds in my car so i did a major revamp and took out all the cds, put in new ones and even re-arranged the sequence. it used to be mandarin cds in the first three, followed by a musical cd then two cds of english pop. well, now they alternate with each other... nothing very interesting you may say...

BUT think about it, how often do we have control over our lives like the cd selection in my car? we don't like it, we change it. sometimes we fear change once we are too used to something. and the excuse we give ourselves? it's always been like this... well, my response... so what?

time for us all to dig deep into our lives and see what we don't like and effect some change...

the still-busy-to-no-end...

2008-08-03T21:34:00.002+08:00

well, another weekend fluttered passed without me realising it...

i initially thought that sat was going to be a super lazy day for me. i was all ready to hit the gym in the morning then come home and become a couch potato... well, the gym part happened... the couch potato? nah...

had to do a meeting with boss/client (a group of us are still trying to figure out the right term)... anyway, the meeting was for the fashion show job where i'm in charge of styling for eight runway shows... FUN FUN FUN!!!

that took me till the noon, after that was doing catch-up with friends and all...

sun was dragonboat training... only one statement (actually more la)... singapura, sunny island set in the sea... the sun was out in full force. i would have appreciated being just slightly sunkissed... but me thinks me is sun-gobbled today... and once again, i have horrible tan lines...

A... B... C...

2008-08-01T19:14:00.002+08:00

A for anderson debates... the invitationals are finally over. me is happy that there is no more adjudication duty for me. teacher-in-charge also asked me to bill them for the hours i was there... yayness! can add on to my income for august.

B for bedok view drama... well, the juniors (read: sec ones) were sent to participate in a skit competition organised by scdf. i thought of sending them just for the experience cos they were not my strongest cast. in my mind was... okay la, just go play play. anyway, results are in and they got first. my lead also won the best actor award.

message from the teacher-in-charge... Edwin oh my god! They're still so excited. E energy is amazing! Thx so much for all your hard work. You've done a great job with e kids!

message was about an hour after they left the venue. was not very hopeful about the students pulling off the show so it was definitely a pleasant surprise. special mention to the teachers as well because they have been super supportive.

C for car... where do i begin for this one? going from scdf hq to ajc, was caught in horrid traffic cos there was an accident on the pie. so had to go beyond my usual pace... yes speed... and i violated a couple of rules... I AM VERY SORRY!!!

then on the way back, i was not concentrating and knocked my side mirror against a cab who was out of his lane... not sure who is at fault but wells, there's not a slight abrasion scar to remind me of that incident.

coming back, i thought all was over but at the foot of my block. there were firemen trying to put out a smoking car... case of overheating i reckon. windscreen was shattered too... wonder what happened...

whatever it is... just glad that i'm done with work for today. off to nap before dinner with the father...

hungry ghosts' festival

2008-08-01T09:53:00.002+08:00

much as i am a cheena beng... never really liked this particular festival for two key reasons...

one... all the burning causes my nose to give major problems...

two... mum passed away on the last day of hungry ghosts' festival... this would be year number 16... i still remember her smile, her cooking, her hair and the warmth of her embrace... i hope she's proud of her favourite son, or in cantonese, her lai zai...

from stage to page!

2008-07-30T23:14:00.002+08:00

an early morning sms from boss sent me into a psuedo-fit... it read... you have been immortalised. check your email... i mis-read it and thought i was mobilised for lovely people in green... so of course i went to check my email...

lo and behold, i received a comic book that was a replica of a show i did for health promotion board. definitely a pleasant surprise! if you guys want a piece of me, just let me know... i should be able to get my hands on a few copies... meanwhile check out my facebook account for my alter-ego, Dave...

girls... boy... flowers... words...

2008-07-30T01:13:00.002+08:00

pretty full day i must say...

started with lesson at sdc for a bunch of really sweet girls. they were extremely well-behaved and very adorable. however i can really do with less pink. trust me... twenty-five pink bags in every shade and size was really a bit too much to bear... but they were a great class to teach...

then i arrived at bedok view all ready to rehearse with my students preparing for friday's competition. upon arrival, i was greeted with news that my lead was down with high fever! had to scrabble for a replacement who, thankfully, could act. so it was rehearsal in school then rehearsal at scdf hq. *fingers crossed* hope they don't fare too badly on friday...

after that, it was over to suntec for the singapore garden festival. it was gorgeous. the arrangements were just full of bliss! gives one the urge to get married. haha... what was more amazing? i actually ended up shopping in the festival but no, i didn't buy flowers for my girlfriend (sorry to jap saleslady). got some snacks for greedy me, flowers for a downcast director and some tea for a good friend...

the end of the day was marked with some writing... a student's testimonial, a concept for a show and not forgetting my entry for the day...

anyway, for reading the entire entry... here's some BS (BS = beauty secret) for you... lips require protection from the sun too. so do use a lip balm/gloss that has a reasonably high sun protection factor...

friendship...

2008-07-28T22:23:00.002+08:00

0850: Guess wad? I got an As for my 40% weightage presentation:) hee.

friendship is sharing victories with you. telling you a piece of news that brighten their day and hopefully it will brighten yours as well...

0914: Hey guys.my beloved grandma passed away suddenly around 3 this morning.am rushing back home now.i won't be contactable till friday.just pray for my family as many are in a state of shock.

friendship is also about sharing sorrow because friends know that in times of need, you will pray for them. you will be there to lend a shoulder to lean on, a listening ear and a helping hand...

1300: hey edwin, u ok? u seem pissed

friendship is knowing the unspoken. friends have this unique ability to just know. no words, no actions, they just know...

1449: Hmm wat abt thurs or fri? Or even weekend may be ok

friendship is about making time to catch up when they say they would. it's not about meeting at their convenience. it's about finding a time that best suits you...

with friends like them, i am indeed blessed!

in a nutshell from the nutcase

2008-07-27T23:34:00.002+08:00

okay, i'll make this one snappy and not seem overly excited about my new cyber-space (haha!)

went to watch x-files today... it was not very x-file-ish... just seemed more like an extended murder mystery... not recommended... wait for the dvd to hit the stores...

anyway, the week ahead is going to be hideous... rainbow fish rehearsals start tomorrow morning and it's going to stretch till the end of the month afterwhich we start the run...

then there's the teaching for bedok view and greenview (no they are not related...). my bedok view students are competing this friday (stress...) and the greenview students have to perform next week for national day (double stress!)

on top of that, there's adjudicating for anderson invitationals... finals is between ri and mgs... motion? thbt the world belongs to the rich... no comments for now... especially since i am chief adjudicator...

finally, got to sit down and talk through new project... pretty exciting especially since it will involve lots of shopping (not on my expense of course!)...

oh through all these, there's still all the training to do for dragonboat and vocal lessons too...

i love my life...

all new!

2008-07-27T22:45:00.000+08:00

yes... after blogging with livejournal for a couple of years, i've decided to have an all-new blog... the old one was just not really me anymore... so do stay tuned to the new and improved online @-dition... haha